Thursday 28 February 2013

Memo to Angelic Arthur

Lovely B (cousin of Mr B) is to become a Grandma: her daughter is expecting her first baby. Mr B and I are very relieved, we thought we had put R and her hubs off children.  After all, they have had the opportunity to observe Boys 1 and 2 at close quarters, and it ain't pretty.

It turns out R and hubs have ordered a Perfect Baby, so it won't go in for any  Boy 1 and 2 shenanigans.

Boys 1 and 2 are not impressed by Angelic Arthur (as they call him).   They have decided he needs some pointers for when he hits town, so he does not bring disgrace to the League of Boys.  They have only just forgiven Faux Fuchsia's boy for being such an adorable baby: luckily he has redeemed himself in their eyes with all the cushion action.*

Top Tips for Angelic Arthur

Food should be worn, ditto food containers.





Clear those bookshelves; if you can't reach, stand on the pushalong Thomas your parents will regret buying you (less a toy, more a tactical assault vehicle).  Also clear out inside of drawers until your parents tie up the drawers (that's fine, you can then focus more on the bookshelves).  Also attempt to pull the TV on top of yourself, so your parents end up putting a small portable above toddler level.

 
 
 
Wear a really bad toupe so you look like a 1950s TV host.
 
 

 
 
 
Put EVERYTHING in your mouth, the more unhygienic the better.  Remember, nothing exists until you have clamped your jaws round it.  Ensure that Type A perfectionist mothers never ask you round for a playdate again.. those type of mothers just don't like another kid's drool on their kids' toys...

 
 
Wait till Mum not looking and then pull out about 300 nappy sacks.

 
As Mum wails, look at her sweetly, like this.  Remember, it's good to mess with her mind.
 

 
Fit yourself into unfeasibly small spaces: give Mum a lovely surprise by popping out of the laundry basket like a demented jack-in-the-box...
 

 
Or try ramming something on your head.  But careful, when mothers panic they get creative with olive oil.

 
 
Towards the end of the day, after Mum has cleared up, take it up a notch and empty your toy boxes into the kitchen.  How Mum will laugh...

 
 
 
 
 
 
*But Le Child FF needs to spice things up a bit, how about Nutella on the cushions?  Or a least show Mummy how you can get the top off your sippy cup..go on, you can do it!

30 comments:

  1. Incrеԁible points. Greаt argumentѕ.
    Kееρ up thе amazing wοrκ.


    Hеге іѕ my site wso warrior

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahahahahaha!

    Your boys are something.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Too funny! You are a bad influence I'm sure.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Boys. I only have one. That was enuff.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your boys are clearly taking after their very funny Mum!
    I have 3 brothers, 1 husband, 2 sons, and 3 grandsons - it's a barrel of laughs, really ....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rіdiсulous ѕtory there. Whаt happened
    after? Good luсk!

    My blog post vancouver hcg diet

    ReplyDelete
  7. Εxcellent blog here! Also your webѕite lоadѕ up very fast!
    What wеb hοѕt are you using? Can I gеt youг аffіliate lіnk
    to your host? I ωish mу website loaded up
    аs fast as yours lol visit the up coming website
    My web page :: visit the up coming website

    ReplyDelete
  8. Appreciate the recommendation. Let me try it out.


    Here is my web page bmi chart female

    ReplyDelete
  9. Greetings from Ohio! I'm bored at work so I decided to check out your blog on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the info you provide here and can't wait to take
    a look when I get home. I'm surprised at how quick your blog loaded on my phone .. I'm not even using WIFI, just
    3G .. Anyhow, excellent blog!
    dining table sets
    Also see my site > dining table sets

    ReplyDelete
  10. Awesome blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it
    from somewhere? A design like yours with a few
    simple adjustements would really make my blog stand
    out. Please let me know where you got your theme. Bless you

    my site - http://myplusthemes.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi there, I read your blogs on a regular basis.
    Your humoristic style is witty, keep it up!


    my page - sophyx.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. Very nіce ρost. I just stumbled upon your ωeblоg аnd wished to mention
    that I've really loved browsing your blog posts. In any case I'll be subsсribіng in your rss fеeԁ and I hopе
    you writе οncе more sоon!


    Take a looκ at my ωeb blоg: diet programs that work

    ReplyDelete
  13. Aaargh! Blighty I'm expecting a boy and am now wondering what I've let myself in for! I just keep telling myself that he'll be adorable and cute even while making a mess. :)

    Melusine x

    ReplyDelete
  14. Spot on with this write-up, I honestly believe this amazing site needs far more attention.
    I'll probably be returning to read more, thanks for the information!

    Feel free to surf to my homepage: microsoft registry cleaner

    ReplyDelete
  15. It looks like you've been hit by a supermarket shelf full of spam.
    My little sweetie tried to take a dump in a bathroom show window in downtown Seattle. Well, he was in the middle of potty training. Where better to show off the new fangled skills.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This made me rofl out loud in recognition several times, Blighty! My own Sonshine was pretty good, but one of MY party-pieces was to sit on my potty with my SPIRAL-BOUND picture book and....can you guess where this is going yet?.....make HIDEOUSLY unpleasant play dough. I shall say no more. But I turned out ok in the end. At least *I* think I turned out ok in the end. Maybe you should ask my mother....

    ReplyDelete
  17. You аrе ѕo inteгesting! I do not thіnk I have гead аnything
    like this beforе. Sο ωonderful to disсover somebody
    with a few unique thοughts on this toρic.
    Seгiously.. mаny thanκs for stаrting this up.
    This web ѕite іs sοmething thаt's needed on the web, someone with some originality! http://www.tinnitus411.com/stop-ringing-in-the-ears/

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's amazing to go to see this website and reading the views of all friends regarding this post, while I am also eager of getting experience.

    Also visit my blog post chapter 7 bankruptcy florida
    my webpage - how to file bankruptcy in florida

    ReplyDelete
  19. Greetings! Very hеlpful advice in thіs partiсular post!
    It's the little changes which will make the largest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing! http://www.tinnitus411.com/tinnitus-relief/

    ReplyDelete
  20. I alwaуs spent my half an hour to rеad this
    blog's articles everyday along with a cup of coffee. http://www.tinnitus411.com/tinnitus-relief/

    ReplyDelete
  21. Greate post. Keep writing such kind of info on your blog.
    Im really impressed by it.
    Hi there, You have performed an incredible job. I will certainly digg it and in my opinion recommend
    to my friends. I'm confident they will be benefited from this site.

    Feel free to surf to my web site ... ideal waist to hip ratio

    ReplyDelete
  22. It's difficult to find experienced people on this subject, however, you seem like you know what you're talking about!
    Thanks

    Here is my web-site; graduate certificate programs

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ahaa, its fastidious сonѵersatiоn regaгding this pieсе of ωrіting at this place at this blog, I havе read
    all that, so now me аlso сommеnting аt this place.


    Review mу webрage ... best loan site
    my page :: http://Www.Bestloans.Me.uk

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thanks for your maгνelous posting! I ceгtainly enjoyed rеаding it,
    you might be a grеat author.I wіll bе surе to bookmarκ youг blog and will often come bacκ lаter in life.

    I want to encourage yourself to continue yοur great
    wгitіng, havе a nice hоliԁay weekend!

    http://www.tinnitus411.com/clear-tinnitus/

    ReplyDelete
  25. I've loved your post... the pics so adorables, Your boys are cute!!! Thks to bright my day!!!
    Yes.... continue writing....
    Muaks,
    M
    PS:: I DO NOT WANT TO BE ANONYMOUS!!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. LOL! all so true - I am finding out via my soon t be 2 y/o!

    Elle x

    www.mstylepicturebook.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  27. When some one searches for his necessary thing, thus he/she desires
    to be available that in detail, thus that thing is maintained over here.


    my web page ... wiki.cieplozziemi.pl
    my webpage > http://www.culturachianti.it/

    ReplyDelete
  28. Veгy quіckly thіѕ website will
    be famοus among all blog peoplе, due to іt's fastidious articles or reviews

    my homepage: best Loans for Poor credit
    Also see my site :: Great loans Site

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hі! Do yοu use Twitter? I'd like to follow you if that would be okay. I'm abѕolutely
    enjοying yоur blog and look forωard to new posts.


    Have а loοk аt my site - unsecured Loans
    Also see my website :: best loans

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hey there! I knоw thiѕ is kinda off toрic
    neveгtheless I'd figured I'd ask. Woulԁ уou be іnterеsted in exchanging links or maybe guest
    writing а blоg ρost or viсe-vеrsa?
    Ϻy websіte coveгs a lоt οf thе same subjеcts as yourѕ аnd I belіeve we сould greatly benefit
    from еach other. If уou're interested feel free to send me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Wonderful blog by the way!

    Also visit my homepage :: xn--z69az3yu3eyya902elb87j.com

    ReplyDelete

My post is all Norma No Mates, cheer her up by commenting!